While parousing postsecrets yesterday….
If this entry were a movie, inserted right now would be a hazy flashback montage:
Postsecrets and I have a whirlwind love/hate relationship. [cuts of anoa scrolling through the website..getting angry and throwing the keyboard off the table in frustration] I abandon postsecrets every couple months tired and confused..when I just can’t take it anymore. I cannot silence the thought that postsecret is merely a group of 3 bored people writing THE most insane shit they can think up at any given moment, and pasting them to ironically relevant (or incredibly random), themed postcards. This crazy shit is submitted and posted and published in coffee table books (whose house would have a post secrets coffee table book? Jack Nicholson’s. There are so many deep interesting things to display on your coffee table for guests that you don’t know. But some choose crazy shit on post cards in oversized hardcover books..im not here to judge) and it makes me kinda angry because some of the shit is stupid, and some of it is just way too extra for me to ever believe it to be an honest confession. I mean..how many times will I see themes such as “I’m pregnant and my boyfriend doesn’t know”, “I am currently being molested..as I write this postcard” or “I am having an odd sexual affair with an elderly clergyman”… Can we please have some more uniquely themed cards? Do you guys recycle them, taking advantage of the fact that you know fans will ultimately get frustrated or weirded out, and leave? Get it together postsecrets.
-End of montage-
(I know that was an extremely insensitive montage. I’m sorry postsecrets. I will soon get over myself. Bear with me. )
I came across a post secret that I enjoyed, however, and it spurred a conversation with myself that I felt was noteworthy.
Here is the Postsecret- (Take it in…)
While reading it, I thought..this is truthy (possessing adequate amounts of truth). Adults have much more need for imaginary friends. We have much more complicated lives. We generally think further than whether tomorrow’s breakfast will be pancakes or nasty nasty oatmeal. (I say generally, because I cannot claim with honesty that I always think past tomorrow’s breakfast choice. Oatmeal is such a disappointment. It can ruin an entire day.) We have bills, credit scores, car notes, mortgages, relationships, bad relationships, worse relationships, bosses, professors and many many other sucktastic aspects of adult life that I don’t care to share.
Imaginary friends make life much better. We must face this fact before we can move on.
Benefits of Imaginary Friends:
1. When you are upset, they make you play with them. The next time your girlfriend blows your life, your imaginary friend will say…Hey! Lets go to the park?!....and You shall go and play and life will seem better. Life is always better in a park…unless you are homeless. Then it’s still sad.
2. They are always for YOU! 100% hater-proof, imaginary friends aren’t selfish fucking bastards or backstabbing Judases like human “friends” can be. They aren’t real so they don’t have shiesty motives. You can see through them.
3. You can talk to them about anything. And they won’t tell. If they do tell, they’re only telling other imaginary people. Who don’t matter.
4. You never feel alone. Because they’re always there. Unless you’re about to have sex and you ask them to leave…or not…Again, I’m not here to judge.
I know there are more, and I will add them as I see fit. Additional benefits are welcomed.
Bottom Line: Life is hard right now. The economy has slit it’s wrists, and is bleeding out in a bathtub of its own foreclosures and unemployment rates. Earth is on its last legs…Antarctica melted today. And elephants have taken to raping rhinoceruses (rhinoceri?). We cannot change most of the macro problems we face today. Imaginary friends are necessary.
It is extremely unfair that children can get away with this and we, as adults, cannot. I am admitting my already obvious jealousy and resentment. I would like to have and maintain an imaginary friend beginning today, but I cannot without becoming a social leper. Regardless of this unfortunate fact, I encourage anyone who wants to, to create an imaginary friend and cling to for dear life. Life is hard out here on these streets…and imaginary friends force you to realize that it’s awesome to be alive.
Warning: Ages of imaginary friend’s age…could get sticky. I would suggest your imaginary friend be of a similar age group…grown men playing with little boy imaginary friends…a little Ancient Roman Gay for my liking.
-Anoa
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