I was reminded of my childhood today when my little brother put on my dad's creepy khaki trench coat. Interestingly, Flasher was the first thing to come to mind. When I was in Jr High at Alice Deal JHS, we were fortunate enough to have suffered a hilarious phenomena. There was a flasher lurking in the bushes nearby waiting till school's end each day to expose himself to unexpecting passersby (the flasher was also caught eating berries from the trees planted in front of the school, and I once saw him at a pta meeting). I recieved several serious pamphlets and brochures to take home to my parents concerning the flasher that was haunting the school pathway, and what to do if your child had been exposed to his genetalia. I thought this was funny when I was the 7th grade. And I think it's funny now..in the 16th grade. the humor is undeniable...Flasher- exhibitionist: someone with a compulsive desire to expose the genitals...My issues are not with the flashing itself (I think its great). My gripe with flashing lies in that it is a male dominated occupation. I wonder why there are so few females with the compulsive desire to expose the genitals. Is it because people wouldn't really be that offended? If i flashed my breasts to unsuspecting 7th graders, I'm sure they would be startled initially (especially if I screamed "how do you like THIS?!" mid-flash)... but I don't think it would be soo terrible that the parents and school would have sent home brochures and alerted the counselors. Flashing a vag isn't all that terrifying or fantastic either (unless the public hair were cornrowed or died green..that'd at least be creative). Penises are just so amazingly external and dangly. They're spooky and mysterious. Like a cloaked gargoyle.
ALSO, people see breasts on TV all the time. There's no mystery or wonder! There is soft porn on almost every channel after 2am, and if not on the actual program, then the very tasteful EXTENDZ penis enlarging commercial (woman: ever since he started using extendz *giggles*, I decided not to stop sexing his brother so often. thanks extendz *smiles*). I think this is a fucking crime. Lady goods are so overexposed that we can't even flash anyone and get a real scream! People are desensitized to the female form, which can sometimes be quite frightening. And rightfully so. But noooo penises are always a shocker. Mystifying scary penises. UNFAIR.
I also think its unfair that the only women that would get screams for flashing would be overweight. If Barbara Dean (from the Food Channel) or Star Jones (then and now) woke up one day with a pressing urge to expose their genetalia, their cascading mammories might get screams. But people would be more upset later than traumatized. (I do recall a homeless woman on Georgia Ave. lifting her loin flap to be and being very bothered by it.) But it just isnt fair. In a perfect world, I could walk to the nearest train station (with my trench coat of course), saunter up to an unsuspecting couple, and open my jacket to them. In a perfect world they would yell and run. But in this stupid unfair world, no one would care. They would just yawn, check the time and have me chased by the metro police. I'm pretty fast in my reboks though, so the chase might be really good.
I encourage everyone to take a really good look at this injustice. Thinking about flashing has me ready to lace up my reboks, grab the trench and head to a museum (I know its sick but somehow I think that when kids are flashed its funnier).
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